i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
