She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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