so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
