Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he was CRYING into my vagina
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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