Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
