u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
