As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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