Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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