she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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