ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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