I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
