whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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