well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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