You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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