god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize