Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
