I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
