Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
