ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
