I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
