If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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