Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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