the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
