nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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