Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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