All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
