he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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