She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize