Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
