yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize