I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
