We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
