i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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