I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize