i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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