Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
