Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
