Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
