Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
