I cockslap morals
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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