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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
