i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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