I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
