guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
