So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
