Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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