She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
