this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize