the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
