I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
