I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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