ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
