He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
