Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
