Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
