**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
