He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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