Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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