Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am one with the molecules
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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