Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i think my cat just said my name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
