New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
