You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
